The ultimate goal for permissive parents is to show their child love and feel their love in return. They tend to avoid conflict at any cost. In a permissive household, discipline and limits are often missing.
These parents are highly bonded and connected to their children. In their belief, the key to the heart of their child is to relate to them as a peer instead of as a parent. Rules in this household are inconsistent if they do exist at all. When they need a child to act on a rule or expectation, most often the parent will use any means necessary including bribery, gifts, food and other motivators to gain for their child to comply.
Children need to have healthy limits and expectations. The kids need to learn appropriate behavior to function as a member of society. They also have to feel valued and cared for. Often, children of permissive parents suffer self-esteem loss because there is no one to ask about their grades in school or help them with homework.
Children feel like an important part of a functional unit – the family unit – when they are held to a higher standard. To be part of that functional family unit, they need structured activities like chores and routine bedtimes. In their desire to be everything to their children, permissive parents often times miss the boat entirely and have very little to offer that a peer at school can’t also fulfill.
Permissive parents are better off trying for a more balanced approach because this does not work. A healthy part of parenting is having love and affection but it becomes unhealthy if there is an unbalance of guidance and discipline.
Openly gay couples who decide to become parents is still a new phenomena. Society has to catch up with this new trend. You may encounter hostility or suspicion if you’re parenting with a same-sex partner. You have to realize the importance of your unique situation. You can be an example that gay parents can make good parents and that gay families can be happy families.
In a recent report made by the American Psychological Association, they observed that “not a single study has found children of gay or lesbian parents to be disadvantaged in any significant effect relative to children of heterosexual parents.”
As a gay parent, you may wonder if you and your same-sex partner are depriving your child of an essential ingredient available only to children of “straight” parents. All the research to date suggests that the children of gay parents are at no significant disadvantage. Some of their findings are:
•Sexual orientation does not affect good parenting. It depends on ability of the parent to create a nurturing and loving, something both straight and gay parents can do.
•The children of gay parents grow up healthy, happy, and well-adjusted as the children of straight parents.
•There is no evidence to suggest that children of gay parents are less popular, less intelligent or more likely to have problems than children of straight parents.
•Children of gay parents are no more likely to become gay or straight than other children.
Gays and lesbians rarely become parents by accident, compared with an almost 50 percent accidental pregnancy rate among heterosexuals. It means that they have greater commitment on average and more involvement.
The children of gay parents show few differences in mental health, achievement, social functioning and other measures. They have the advantage of tolerance, open-mindedness and role models for impartial relationships.
Foster parents give a safe and temporary home for children who are in crisis. They become a part of the child’s care, treatment and support programs. They work together with the child’s social worker, doctors, teachers and attorney. It is not a passive act of opening one’s home and providing food, clothing, and shelter. It is a relationship where there is love, nurturing and advocacy.
The children who have been taken from their birth family homes for reasons of neglect, abuse, abandonment, or other issues endangering their health and/or safety need foster homes. These children are filled with confusion, a sense of powerlessness, anger, fear and confusion for having to leave the only home they have ever known. Some have emotional, physical, developmental or behavioral problems.
Financial support is offered by all states. The amount given is different for every state. You must be able to prove that without having to use any of the income from foster parenting, your current family needs can be met. Many states also offer day care, clothing and/or day camp allowances.
To become a foster parent, you need to have the following requirements:
•Must be at least 21 years old.
•You have enough bed and rooms in your home for a foster child to sleep and keep his or her belongings.
•Fire, safety, sanitary standards for your home should be met.
•Emotionally and physically capable of caring for children and have no drug or alcohol abuse problems.
•You must have no substantiated record of abusing or neglecting children and pass a criminal background check.
•You do not need to depend on the foster care reimbursement you receive from the state as income.
There is no perfect way to raise a child. As parents, we may commit mistakes—either because of our doing or our undoing. But no matter what, it is but important to put our child’s welfare as our priority. That being in mind, here are some helpful tips on effective parenting.
1. Take notice of your child
Parents should pay attention to the abilities of their children and allow children to take more responsibility as they see fit. When your child comes to you, you must stop what you’re doing and pay attention. If you are stressed, you will not be able to give the right kind of attention to your children. Nothing could be more harming for a child than to feel unwanted and neglected. Without notice, the child could seek attention elsewhere—from friends, peers, in school and whoever they feel would be willing to give them attention. This is a delicate matter as the child could lose identity and get a wrong sense of brotherhood and family.
2. Remember the importance of non-verbal communication
Do not take for granted the comfort of smiles and hugs. More than the talk, a parent should hear and see what the child is not saying. Of course, communication is a good key to a good parent-child relationship. But more than that, a child would truly appreciate the parents’ hand. Showing affection makes the child comforted.
While we believe that talking or sometimes nagging the child would instil good values, the power of listening should never be undermined. Listening keeps the child comfortable. This will help the child feel comfortable speaking up and boos his confidence. Listening also develops honesty. We need to understand that listening is half of the communication process.
4. Play with your Children
Take the time and make the effort to play with your children is essential for parent-child relationship healthy. It also strengthens the relationship between parents and children. A cooking class with your children will boost the relationship. Helping them with their homework can inspire them to excel in reading and math. Not only that, it will also help to improve your own parenting skills. Positive parenting should not be too permissive. There are trials along the way that will test your ability to be a good parent. A sense of being at home is greatly enhanced when children and parents play together or do activities together like sharing meals, tasks and responsibilities.
5. Seek advice
Let’s face it, parents can learn from other parents. New parents often get a lot of advice from their own parents, and their parents’ parent. It is a cycle—you can get some bad advice and you can get some good advice. It does not matter which one you follow—after all, it is your child’s welfare and future which is at stake here so being in charge, listening and heeding advice can be of great support. Remember that people who give parenting advice have the best intentions in the world.
These are all tips that you can use to develop your relationship with your child. As stated, there is no perfect and easy way to raise a child. A lot of patience is needed when dealing with children and it is very important that parents go along with their children to ensure that they do not become misguided or lost. Aside from that, children who are bonded to their parents will tend to grow just like them. If you raise your child in a culture of trust, kindness and confidence, odds are that the child will carry it once he becomes a member of the society, and they will also pass it on to their children.